Thankskilling: The Live Blog (Part 1)

Ah, here we are again.  On the Internet while watching ThanksKilling.  Gobble, gobble, motherf#%@er.

Yes, that's the tagline, and yes, I just came across this title in Netflix instant watch.  Here you go:

• Why are her breasts hanging out?
• Yep, it's an actual turkey.
• The music and the bad stereotypes spell out an A+ movie is about to ensue.
• "What's poon?"
• God, this is bad.  So, so bad.
• Don't you hate it when they make an obvious actor into a hobo-looking guy and they do it wrong and it looks fake.  That is what this movie is about.
• Mark - "No, not the totem!  And that is what unleashes THE TURKEY!"
• Look at that mustache.  Full of shit coffee.
• There was a penis!  Did you see the penis?!
• Yes, a killer Turkey.  Yes, Turkeyologists.  Yes, Thankskilling.
• The turkey talks.  The puppet turkey talks and "axe"adentally killed the dog.
• DON'T GO ALONE!!!
• The dumb one cannot stop posing.
• What the fuck?!  Yes, it's a funny bunny.
• Those turkey droppings look a lot like little sausages.
• Apparently the "geek" drools or something.  But you never see actual drool...
• What the FUCK?!  He was about to have sex with that turkey!
• The turkey is driving.  That is totally possible.
• This is so bad (same joke twice, I'm hoping it pops up again).
• How is that turkey holding that knife?
• Nice pumpkin pie . . .
• Oh god, nooooooooooo!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
• "You just got stuffed!"
• The JonBenet Ramsey joke came up again!
• Nice disguise.

This concludes Part 1 of this live blog.  Mark's off to bed, and I can't stand to watch any more without him.

Goodnight, and happy Thankskilling.

Bowls of Phở this year:  still 3

A co-worker let me borrow American Psycho.

This is a live blog of my first watching of the film.

• This intro reminds me of Dexter.  Damn it, library patrons, all 272 of you before me who put Season 5 on hold.  Good thing I'm getting INTERNET next week so I can finally have NETFLIX.¹
• Good for you, Christian Bale, you sexy, sexy man.
• They just went to an 80's dance club with cross-dressed performers.  I want to go to there.  I also want to live blog this.
• Why thank you, I did want to know your detailed morning routine, Patrick Bateman.
• I want to be paid to watch Jeopardy! episodes.
• Awe shit.  He's totally going to serial kill her ass.
• If you sincerely love Les Mis, as by the picture in your bathroom tells, I would get those "cran-raspberry" stains out for you.
• You both have nasty 90s haircuts.  And Paul is way better looking.
• What the fuck?  Are you really comparing business cards?  Are you getting a boner by looking at his watermarked off-white, perfect letter thickness business card?
• You are going to get, yes, you are now dead, mister homeless man with dog.
• Are those little serial killer outburst in a normal voice actually audible?
• *GRIN*  It's hip to be square.
• What an effective way to get rid of a body.
• And the detective is Green Lantern.
• Cue dark music as a woman waits on a dark and lonely street, as a limo pulls up wanting sex.  Maybe.  Killing Christie later?  Maybe.
• This is going to be the threesome scene, isn't it?²
• And they really don't give a fuck about what you do.
• YES, IT IS.  WITH A PHIL COLLINS LECTURE.
• Why do they always point at themselves in mirrors?  Douchebag.
• Luis, you're next.
• Ew.  Her hair.
• You had to say Dorsia, didn't you.
• Oh my god, who's head is that?
• Get the fuck out of there.  You live!
• Don't do it, Christie.  I said, don't do it!
• Roofies for everyone!
• HEHEHEHEHEHEHE.  A chainsaw!  He's a zombie, GTFO!!!
• Wait, you had time to put on shoes?!
• I love drawing on paper table clothes at restaurants, too!
• My next excuse is "I've got to return some videotapes."
• YOU'RE A KITTY!
• Run, Batman, run!
• We all know cars don't explode when they are shot.
• SHOOT ALL THE PEOPLE!!!
• Such a fake backdrop.
• "Some homeless people, maybe 5 or 10"
• HE IS A ZOMBIE!!!!  A SERIAL KILLING ZOMIBE!!!
• And we're back to the morning routine.
• All gone.
• His left eyebrow is fuller than his right eyebrow.
• The end.

Well that was fun.  Join me next time when I, wait, what?  What's that you say?  Live blogging things you're watching is no fun to read?  I'm sure you must be mistaken.

Until next time,
Sara

Bowls of Phở this year: 3


1. For the record, I do "have" Internet at my house, but it's a weak, open signal that we do not pay for.
2. This is really all I know about this movie going into it.

Hello, new blog.

I am promising to not abandon you.  I WILL update you whenever I think about it.

And hello to you all.  Well, I mean, hello to the Internet and unfollowed (so far) blog.  I fear I am finding that Tumblr isn't quite enough and I have a ton of Blogspot blogs I follow and love, so I want to share myself on here, too.  Now, instead of introducing myself, I want this post to be a tribute to other beautiful ladies of The Web whose blogs, pictures, and videos I love.

First off we have Hayley over at http://hayleyghoover.blogspot.com.  I love her writing style and sense of humor.  Not to mention her YouTube videos are hilarious.  She is such an inspiration, and I don't know how she does it all.

And then there is (closely-related-because-they-had-a-YouTube-channel-together) Kayley at http://www.kayleyhyde.blogspot.com.  I love that she lives in the moment, studying in the UK, and just hanging out with her awesome YouTube and non-YouTube friends out there.  Her fashion sense is amazing, and I just love the photos she compiles and shoots herself.

Next is Rosianna, another literary YouTuber.  Her current blog is http://welcometothe20s.blogspot.com.  She, too, has a fantastic fashion sense.  She is incredibly articulate and intelligent, so make sure you go check her out.

Another foreigner I love is Sanne at http://booksandquills.blogspot.com.  She is very much into books and reading as well as traveling, and I love reading and watching her adventures in Europe.  I am excited to see to where she takes 2012.

And last is Marion, close friend of Sanne and other YouTubers.  I was first attracted to her because of her thoughts from places video a while back.  I think.  And that she had brilliant red hair and studied French.  Because I aspire to be awesome like her:  http://marionhoney.blogspot.com.

Well, that's it.  Until maybe I get back from work late tonight.

Until I feel inspired again,
Sara