A co-worker let me borrow American Psycho.

This is a live blog of my first watching of the film.

• This intro reminds me of Dexter.  Damn it, library patrons, all 272 of you before me who put Season 5 on hold.  Good thing I'm getting INTERNET next week so I can finally have NETFLIX.¹
• Good for you, Christian Bale, you sexy, sexy man.
• They just went to an 80's dance club with cross-dressed performers.  I want to go to there.  I also want to live blog this.
• Why thank you, I did want to know your detailed morning routine, Patrick Bateman.
• I want to be paid to watch Jeopardy! episodes.
• Awe shit.  He's totally going to serial kill her ass.
• If you sincerely love Les Mis, as by the picture in your bathroom tells, I would get those "cran-raspberry" stains out for you.
• You both have nasty 90s haircuts.  And Paul is way better looking.
• What the fuck?  Are you really comparing business cards?  Are you getting a boner by looking at his watermarked off-white, perfect letter thickness business card?
• You are going to get, yes, you are now dead, mister homeless man with dog.
• Are those little serial killer outburst in a normal voice actually audible?
• *GRIN*  It's hip to be square.
• What an effective way to get rid of a body.
• And the detective is Green Lantern.
• Cue dark music as a woman waits on a dark and lonely street, as a limo pulls up wanting sex.  Maybe.  Killing Christie later?  Maybe.
• This is going to be the threesome scene, isn't it?²
• And they really don't give a fuck about what you do.
• YES, IT IS.  WITH A PHIL COLLINS LECTURE.
• Why do they always point at themselves in mirrors?  Douchebag.
• Luis, you're next.
• Ew.  Her hair.
• You had to say Dorsia, didn't you.
• Oh my god, who's head is that?
• Get the fuck out of there.  You live!
• Don't do it, Christie.  I said, don't do it!
• Roofies for everyone!
• HEHEHEHEHEHEHE.  A chainsaw!  He's a zombie, GTFO!!!
• Wait, you had time to put on shoes?!
• I love drawing on paper table clothes at restaurants, too!
• My next excuse is "I've got to return some videotapes."
• YOU'RE A KITTY!
• Run, Batman, run!
• We all know cars don't explode when they are shot.
• SHOOT ALL THE PEOPLE!!!
• Such a fake backdrop.
• "Some homeless people, maybe 5 or 10"
• HE IS A ZOMBIE!!!!  A SERIAL KILLING ZOMIBE!!!
• And we're back to the morning routine.
• All gone.
• His left eyebrow is fuller than his right eyebrow.
• The end.

Well that was fun.  Join me next time when I, wait, what?  What's that you say?  Live blogging things you're watching is no fun to read?  I'm sure you must be mistaken.

Until next time,
Sara

Bowls of Phở this year: 3


1. For the record, I do "have" Internet at my house, but it's a weak, open signal that we do not pay for.
2. This is really all I know about this movie going into it.